Went into the Job Centre for the first time today,
The feeling of embarrassment was far too much to take.
I found myself sitting alone and filling out a form,
With which I fill with a very small pen and a very old blue clipboard.

I took a look around and the people moving round form one desk to the next,
Trying to find the right one and becoming quite perplexed.
A lady with a better looking clipboard marches up and down,
Calling names like they do at the doctors, "Doctor, help me out!"

'Cos I've got no money and I don't know where to get it,
Now I need some money, Now I need to feed my habit.
But I can write a song and I know How to play guitar,
Money does not grow on trees but music is the fruit of love.

I sat back down to fill another form when my pen just ran out,
I tried to ask for a new one she just shrugged and turned around.
So there I sat with discontent and discombobulation,
Was it all just a waste of time in higher education.

'Cos I've got no money and I don't know where to get it,
Now I need some money, Now I need to feed my habit.
But I can write a song and I know How to play guitar,
Money does not grow on trees but music is the fruit of love.

Guess what, I just found a pencil at the bottom of my pocket,
Then I had the sudden urge to stick in my eye socket.
Would anybody notice, would they even give a fuck,
Imagine the bureaucracy, "Now, who's gonna clean this up!?"

So I stuck that scribe right into my eye,
And just as I thought, no one heard my cry.
And as the blood soaked into my Father's tie,
I stood myself up, began to testify
Singing, "I can write a song and I know How to play guitar,
Money does not grow on trees but music is the fruit of love."